GREECE

So I have a theory. It could almost be considered a conspiracy theory. This theory isn't meant to be malicious unlike most other conspiracy theories but it is based on assumption, opinion and very, very few facts, just like a proper conspiracy theory.  

It's about Greece and the recent collapse of their new Euro economy. The Euro was introduced into Greece to help bail them out after their previous economic breakdown. It was seen as a bit of a risk for those countries that are in The Euro (well, the affluent stable ones. France and Germany), bailing out a country that couldn't sustain itself with its own currency and was already in a load of debt. But, was it really such a big risk?

Greece was having trouble because it was spending all its money outside of Greece. If the Greeks had spent all their money on Grecian things, like columns, their country wouldn't have been losing so much money. Greece entering The Euro meant their ability and ease of trading with other countries that have The Euro was vastly improved. Now instead of France and Germany suddenly splurging a load of Euro on feta, olives and, of course, columns what obviously happened was that every Greekman went out and bought himself some Brie, BMWs, Bratwurst and Bollinger because, you know, the Greeks love things that begin with a B*. 

So, that's why I don't think it was such a risk for Germany and France. All the Euros they 'invested' in helping out Greece they got straight back. Or, so I am assuming. Sarkosy and Merkel were performing the worlds largest, and most public, 'hustle' on Greece. Actually, they probably haven't even made any money out of Greece because, like I said, I haven't based any of this on any facts.

So my advice for the newly appointed president of France, Monsieur Hollande that when he teams up with Frau Merkel to pursuade a new country into The Euro, and they don't want people like me (ill-informed conspiracy theorists) making stories up about them, that they approach countries that it might be useful to have on board. A few suggestions: Switzerland, mainly because Swiss Francs are immensely annoying, my holidays would be far nicer if I weren't left with what seems like a million pounds worth of useless Swiss francs every time I pop into Switzerland for the day. Especially now I can't get rid of them at the Dartford crossing on my way back home. This would help me and the very angry van driver that was stuck behind me as I had to fill in a form at the Dartford tunnel barrier because I only had Swiss Francs on me and the tunnel officials wouldn't take them. How about Denmark, thanks to The Killing those fair-isle/ Sara Lund jumpers are all the rage. They should get in there quick so they can cash in on the trend before its all over. And of course the UK. Not that we would join, the pound is awesome, but we do have lots to offer. Some super awesome, CJD free Beef for one.

*This is another thing I made up. The closest thing I have as proof of this is that, apparently, the Greeks invented bumming which begins with B.